Poem :Identity

Spirituality is the end of me

With a one-two-three, its the death of me!

One 

Savior who I give my life

Two 

baptisms to signify the

Three 

in One I rest upon.

Now I'm reckoning the death of me,

It wasn't really the end

-you see- It made me truly me.

l-o-v-e.

Love

There are songs and poems, movies and novels about it! People will pay a good chunk of money to go to a theater and watch a happy/funny love story. Along with that there are relationship experts (who aren't so expert), advise columns, dating websites and singles clubs. It all boils down to this-People want to be Loved! I recently met two girls and while talking about life and love in their lives I realized that it's not just a relationship they want. They seek and find and aren't satisfied. This is because Love Himself is calling them and they aren't responding to Him..they're taking the cheaper alternative instead and as is often the case with cheaper alternatives...they break.

We need to know Love Himself in order to know love.
Henry Drummond says: "God is Love. Those that dwell in love, dwell in God, therefore Love- Without distinction, without calculation, without procrastination- LOVE"

Dwell in Love/Dwell in God.
<3 

Happy 4th of July friends!!

Glass Jars and 300 Trumpets

In Judges chapter 6 and 7 God shows us how He sometimes uses the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. Gideon was a farmer and God called him to be a Warrior. Then, once a Warrior God whittled down his army to half and just before battle he whittled them down again! Their weapons were trumpets and jars with candles inside of them. He not only chose an unlikely person but he also set him up with un-winnable circumstances so that once they won the battle nothing but Glory to God would be the result.

When faced with un-winnable circumstances let us be the kind of people that look around for the Glory of God to be revealed. As long as we're walking in the Lords will, all things are possible.

Poem:Trust

I don't understand your plan but I know that you aren't frail like man.


We are clothed in time and you are divine.
 

Weed out the grotesqueness of worry as I recall all that you are.


I want a heart that defaults to trust in you, 


that instantly recalls that You are faithful and true and you prove it in all you do.
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I read books by so many people that understand the Lord's character and steadiness and one thing that these deep and thought provoking people have in common besides a zeal for the Lord is that they first trust. I'm inclined to think that the more we saturate ourselves in the Lord's presence the more likely we are to instantly trust in all circumstances. He is good and always will be- we can count on that.

Here's a great song link for you: 
Those Who Trust by Enter the Worship CIrcle 

A missions support raising story!

A missions support raising story!

     I've seen the Lord do amazing things through support raising for this trip and am falling more and more in trust with Him daily! 

     First He got my passport to me in JUST 9 days and the timing was perfect as it was just in time to make our missions application deadline. Then the day before we were supposed to purchase our tickets the Lord provided the extra 450 I needed. Right after purchasing the tickets I found out that we needed 199 more to apply for visa's into the country and within 2.5 hours God provided that too!

      In the past I've always seen God do amazing things but so many times when it comes time to trust again I've wondered if or how or when He will provide. This got me thinking about the Israelite's and how like them I've had times of walking through the sea with a wall of water on either side and my feet on dry ground and then once on the other side turn around and wonder if Pharaoh was gonna catch up to me anyway.  

God was always there for them! God lead them with a fire by night and a cloud by day. He made water come from a rock and even though they doubted many times He always provided for them. He has proven Himself over and over again and now through support raising He's teaching me that same lesson of trust! I want my default to be trust and am grateful for the way that He's providing each step of the way since it's teaching me to rely on Him.

I have 700 more dollars to raise for this trip and ask that you join me in trusting the Lord. Whether by prayer or giving I am grateful. He is Trustworthy and He uses people to bless each other! If there's something that you need, He is there and I am here to help. I love ya'll- thank you for being my friends and trusting the Lord with me.

Poem: Nothing compares

I've seen people grasping for air,


living for dreams that disappoint once they get there.


Here I am with a simple existence


living a dream becuase you are there.


Nothing compares to this love that we share!  


Thank you Lord for ripping the veil!
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I was talking to a woman in her 40's recently, she has a nice home, children and a prominent career and all of her work has brought her here...and yet where is here? She isn't happy. Only the Lord can satisfy us. 

PSALM 81

 ⁶ “I removed the burden from their shoulders;
   their hands were set free from the basket.
⁷ In your distress you called and I rescued you,
   I answered you out of a thundercloud;
   I tested you at the waters of Meribah.^[c]
8 Hear me, my people, and I will warn you—
   if you would only listen to me, Israel!
⁹ You shall have no foreign god among you;
   you shall not worship any god other than me.
¹⁰ I am the LORD your God,
   who brought you up out of Egypt.
Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.

 ¹¹ “But my people would not listen to me;
   Israel would not submit to me.
¹² So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts
   to follow their own devices.

 ¹³ “If my people would only listen to me,
   if Israel would only follow my ways,
¹⁴ how quickly I would subdue their enemies
   and turn my hand against their foes!
¹⁵ Those who hate the LORD would cringe before him,
   and their punishment would last forever.
¹⁶ But you would be fed with the finest of wheat;
   with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.”

Girls from my small group series: Birdie

Alyssa aka Birdie

One of the girls in my small group is an Art Major. She switched to my small group after her small group leader retired from XA. When I first met Alyssa I instantly knew I wanted to spend more time with her but it took almost a whole semester before our schedules matched up. She has a way of making people feel comfortable in their own skin. Her sense of Humor and her easy going demeanor help just about anyone settle into a rich friendship with her.

In the course of a summer we went from schedules that never matched up to sweet sisterhood. She was with me on move in day at UTSA helping students move in and together we've shared both tears and some of life's funniest moments together. We studied Acts and John together and had a semester full of sweet small group nights as well. Alyssa took Chi Alpha's leadership Training Class last semester and her relationship with the Lord has blossomed. When she taught our small group towards the end of the LTC class she taught on Humility-complete with servings of Humble (Apple) pie.

Alyssa is an amazing artist! Here's some of her art work.

Girls from my small group series: Sally

Sally

Sally makes people happy. I'm serious! She makes people smile everywhere that she goes.

If I were to give her a theme song it would be that old time chorus "The joy of the Lord is my strength" because the joy of the Lord beam's through this beautiful woman with the contagious dancing gene.

Sally and I still laugh about one of our first times hanging out alone when at the risk of losing her in Chi Alpha the Lord told me to tell her to stick with one fellowship group so that she could get the most out of whatever group she was in. For me this was a hard lesson in "Love chooses for the highest good of another" as I knew that attending both the big group sessions and small group sessions of one group would be best for her spiritually but that she might not stick with XA....well long story short, She stayed and started coming to everything XA.

If you want a testimony about how God can do a lot in a small amount of time, just hang out with Sally for a bit. Her humble servants heart shouts of the Glory of the Lord!

and just to let you know how cool she is- here's some photo's =-)

Girls from my small group series: Erika

Erika.

The first time I hung out with Erika she told me one of the most embarrassing stories of her life. Since that day we've been making embarrassing moments together instead of alone. Erika is super girly and beautiful and she also works for the Campus Rec Outdoor Pursuits Program and can do everything from Surf and Mountain bike to scale a mountain side! She is also one person who you never have to mention a good book to twice. Her bookshelves are filling up as fast as she studies the Character of God.

I'm in tears right now thinking of how beautiful this woman's choices have been. She was a leader in her Sorority and in 5 different campus groups but when she met a God who's value far outweighed every one of those put together she walked away from them. Simple as that. God is always on her tongue and in her thoughts

Erika will be leading a small group of her own next semester and I'm stoked to see how her all out devotion to God and her Love to read about Him fruits out next semester. She's also going on Chi Alpha's Costa Rica missions trip as one of the translators this summer.

Poem: Treasure

The beauty of a treasure is its rarity

 

the worth of it lies in its singularity.
 

Diamonds vary but they are plenty,
 

Gold is easily bought and sold.
 

but there's only one God who is alive,
 

His Name is Christ.

Teen Challenge Banquet

Teen Challenge is a ministry that uses the word of God and discipleship to help young people break addictions. They recently had a banquet that I and a handful of friends were able to attend with Ardell Fleck who volunteers there.

This banquet came with a powerful dose of the Lord as students sang, gave their testimonies and performed a skit on stage. Most of the crowd was misty eyed by the end of the night as the students and staff constantly reminded us that we have a powerful, loving, miracle working God who breaks the chains of bondage!

What impressed me most about this event was the testimony of love from those that know Ardell Fleck. As I spoke to the women of teen challenge they couldn't help but express their love and thankfulness for her commitment to loving them through rough times and good. She serves as a reminded of what a Woman of God should be and I am so grateful for her life and all that she's doing at Teen Challenge.

Home sweet Home

Our House has been named the Spa or by some the Lily Pad. When my roommates and I first started thinking about renting a house we knew that we wanted to be able to use it at its highest potential for the Lord. After a few months of living there that meant a backyard makeover (see video below) and some unique furniture arrangements. Our House has 6 sofa' and five beds in it! Next Semester there will be 4 small group leaders living here so the House will represent at least 40-60 small group girls. God is doing awesome things and we're grateful for everyone that entered our home. Thank you Lord for providing such a sweet house to live in! 

**Please Pray for Gods anointing over the small group leaders as well as provision on our House next semester.

Video: https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1344645105654

2011 Fallow Ground Film Festival

This year we held our 2nd Annual Fallow Ground  Film Festival.
Kyle Volkmers small group and mine merged together to make our entry. It's about how Truth can be distorted if you aren't careful. We got third place. All of the video's were impressive! Here's our video along with the 1st and 2nd place films as well.

3rd Place

2nd Place

1st Place

Hope New Braunfels

Come as a friend, Leave as one of the Family.

A small team from XA has been volunteering for a church plant in New Braunfels. You never know what God's going to teach you when you start doing something like this. I've learned so much at Hope! Pastor Nixon pastors two churches and switches back and forth between live sermons at one campus and video casts at the other. From the hour of prayer that they share before church even starts to the coffee they serve in the cafe' with a rich dose of Godly conversation you really do leave feeling a little more like family then when you walked in the door. My roommate and I serve as door greeters and every week we're blessed to see the smiling faces as well as prayerfully mindful of those that aren't there and the lost city that lays just beyond those doors. 

**Please pray with me that God does a mighty work in New Braunfels through the people at Hope.

Poem: "Without You"

Without you this yearning keeps turning.

In the stillness of alone I am left to ponder where I've wandered,

I hear all the noise of the house that creaks and my soul that reeks,

my schemes take flight and with pride- i fight.
Lord- Devastate my plans,

give me quiet time until my threads are shed

and your peace transcends this yearning that rends.

Poem: Sin separates

Wasteful, Most distasteful Selfish needs
This defiled weed exiled me.
Built a wall where none should be
So tall only

One

Could see the tender heart of me
Giant walls can still be breached!
Where trials and mercies teach.
So that we can share of where

God

was crowned!
A grace that lasts, a love profound
A story of walls no longer

Found

Poem:The truth of you

All day and night I'll sing to you- a constant silent thought- are you

The truth of you impresses me, it beckons me.

I'll devastate my plans- just to meet you in the morning dew.

If it means another chance with you -I'll cancel everything at noon.

I'll even tread the frights of night- if it means an evening glimpse or two..of you.

Sieve me through and through- until my love
I resemble you.

Poem Yearning

This yearning rends, its tearing me apart 
 

from what I gather that's precisely it's part.
 

i have pleaded for a righteous soul and swept the caverns of my determined mold. 

It never worked because I could hardly see- It was getting old until He rescued me.
 

God stepped in and lite the way, He said that He was here to stay but one day He walked away! 

My tears were hot, I felt forgotten and was sure he left becuase I was rotten.
 

So I swept again and what should I find where my eyes hadn't wandered? 

My redeemer- 

He was always there- 

He had to hide so that I could find the treasures of a yearning mind.

Poem: The B.I.B.L.E

The Bible is a wonderful History

Tales of adventure, 

beautifully written accounts, 

romance stories with grace and glories
 

It testifies of God in the Old and New- 

for those that care- He is easily found there

Poem: Not Enough

From deep within us rises this feeling that we aren't enough.
 

It's like a disease scattered through the blood,
 

we need a transfusion of love. so you spilled your blood.
 

You stood up for us when nothing but your blood could cover us.
 

Poem: Sin and Soul - (Romans 7:7-25)

Ive set my eyes on foolish things and come away with hunger,

never finding satisfaction for more than a fraction.

I often write of the struggle to have less of me and more of Christ

and in case you’re there too, I have something more to share too.

The score is set, Christ always wins. When I let Him in His presence is bliss.  

He satisfies like a drink of water to parched lips and a warm embrace on a cold day. 

I don’t know why I choose to disobey

but I’ll fight this plight until my dying day.

(poem inspiration Romans 7:7-25)

Poetry

I wrote a poem,
 

It didn't rhyme.
 

What a terrible crime

I wonder

i wonder. 

i wonder if he wonders why we wonder

Poem: Keeping up

Everyone's the same. We have fashion forward trends and resolutions that we bend.

Keeping up with the Jones's should have us fed up to our noses!

We need a revolution, A march to disillusion.

To be like Christ isn't blending in, It's kindling fires till the end.

It's killing shallow talk and letting true truth talk.

Poem: Repentance

Don't worry little dear, lets sop up all those tears.

You made a mistake but God offers grace.

Your tears were the door to get there.

Poem: Heart Weaving

Girls have this matter of heart. It’s something we want to guard. 

We could give it away but then treasures shouldn't be flung around that way. 

Today I feel a warming of my heart because you've been gentle from the start. 

Your words are kind and your gentle leading quite heart weaving

.

Poem: Justice = Love

Holy one your character is true-Loves steams out of all you do:

Daniel in the Lions den, Moses and his clan and the way you lead them to the promised land,

Noah’s salvation, Esters victory, the disciples walk with you and their intimate talks with you-  

I've read accounts and I've seen you move, I see love in all you do. 

I finally understand that giving us the choice of Hell was a demand. 

For you to be true in all you do- Justice is a character command.

Poem: Pour me out

Love poured out makes love true 

so I'm making plans to pour everything unto you.

I'm trashing all my half attempts 

I want to do what you want me to.

Poem: Abide

Face to the ground- I cast away my shroud

Nothing hidden-I come unbidden

Ravish all my thoughts, show me sins that hide

Let me abide in you, that's all I want to do

Poem: Breakthrough

The monotony has gotten me.

me-me-me

its frightening

me-me-me

it clouds the view!

I'm in desperate need of a break-through!

I have heard of a stronger hold with vast mysteries to unfold

and the amazing part is that He really wants the me-me-me that I plead to weed.

Poem: Beautiful Disaster

I wear a robe of sparkling white, the feel of it is heavenly. 

The best part (and the worst) is that I'll never forgot where I got this frock.


I was broken with robes of brown, wearing cuts and bruises from all the wrong ways I had found. 

Stained and tattered, i wasn't much to see but Still One looked at me so lovingly.


He was perfect and He wore a crown, He said he had been waiting for me to be found. 

When I tried to hide my tattered frock- how He responded was a shock!


This beautiful Master bent on one knee and with one loving glace he switched robes with me

..what a beautiful disaster.

Poem: Prayer

prayer daily by the saints keeps the devil bolting

 
prayer saved for distress barely keep the feeble faith upholding.

 
like a steady warrior in a battle- training daily keeps you ready.

 
but If you put your sword away- you won't be much to handle in a battle.

Poem: Truth has Fallen in the streets, who will pick her up

We dim the lights on truthfulness, we caste her in the streets, 

We silence her with large demands and shun her with our cans and cants. 

 
We often demand that she can't be had...until we're in a bind.

Then what if she can't be had? We'd be sad.

(poem inspiration Isaiah 59)

Poem: Forgiveness

Bitter is the filter that holds onto hurt and causes lessons to be unlearned 

Forgiveness asks for Hurt to be burned and exist only as a lesson learned.

Don't decieve yourself, holding grudes and a resolve that never budges gives you a rebels crown

Instead let us stand upon the solid ground until forgiveness reflects the grace we're found. 

Poem: I'm gazing- You amaze me

As the maker of heaven and earth, you're amazing.
 

You're the knitter of child in womb and the painter of flowers in bloom.

You hang the stars and make waterfalls. You stir the seas and have love for me.

These words are compounding to say your astounding 

You're constant and without a doubt I'm gazing, you amaze me.

Poem: Jungle Love Song

The jungle beats a love song for someone great to hear. Its in air, it's everywhere, 

in the speaking of the jungle beasts and the hum hum hum of the bumble bees. 

The flowers bloom with a daring air and to the sky's they stare, even the birds sing 

melodies to a King they know is there.

Poem: Jesus changes everything

We hold our problems and we nurse our pride-

choosing to muddle in self righteous puddles- 

we turn reputation into everything-in a light that's not so bright. 

Jesus changes everything- Everything that matters.

Poem: Iron Sharpens Iron

You bring a constant thought of Christ

You sharpen every view.

As if on Que-

I know he'll speak through you.

Poem: One day it will be too late

HE SAID I DO
I SAID WHO ARE YOU

HE TURNED 
I YEARNED 

ON HIS BACK 39 LASHES STOOD
I SHOOK, i should have understood

Poem: Today

God so near
He is so dear
I do not fear

Forget to pray 
Keep Him at bay
So much to worry about today

Poem: Worship

Worship passes pleasantries and humbles the pure in heart.

It casts our idols at Gods feet and tumbles our pride- even if discreet.

It's God we want to meet so here we stand on our feet,

With hands upraised -We hear the beat and we think, we think

May this praise be pleasing to one so great to whom we destined such a fate

Poem: Idolatry

 

We have our pretty idols set up nice and tall, It tells us blatant lies and sings deceiving rhymes,

Yet with timely manner we gladly partake it all and squander at its altar what we can't afford to..

Oh wait, Hold that thought! its 9 o'clock, my shows about to start.